


Randy Cunningham 10th grade warrior

by Bigmike33321



Category: Randy Cunningham: 9th Grade Ninja
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-19
Updated: 2020-03-19
Packaged: 2021-02-28 19:09:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,797
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23212294
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bigmike33321/pseuds/Bigmike33321
Summary: This took a while. Anyway. Randy Cunningham has a date today. A date with Theresa Fowler. But with a robot attack on the street where he was suppose to go to said date happens, well. Ninja time. So what is a young man with a magic super powered suite to do? Well, deck it out and fight some robot butt!But why is this attack seemingly more vicious than before? Who is this Stranger with a white coat and sword? And what is Randy Cunningham to do if his secret identity is reviewed? Well, read to find out!
Relationships: Randy Cunningham & Howard Weinerman, Randy Cunningham/Theresa Fowler, Randy cunningham &
Kudos: 8





	Randy Cunningham 10th grade warrior

**Author's Note:**

> This took me 3 days to write. Writing on a phone is literal hell. But i finally got it finished at exactly midnight. So, your welcome. This will be a multipart series, my nth one if anyone was keeping count. And chapter 2 will come before the end of the month. Im gonna work on it while simultaneously writing the second part to my NSFW camp camp story 'From Friends to Lovers'. But like i said, writing on a phone is hell, but what else am i to do under quarentine.
> 
> Not that I'm sick mind you, but my job closed down for the time being. 
> 
> Bonus points to anyone who gets my references to other media and shows, i got this idea for the story by rewatching Randy Cunningham on Disney+. If you want to watch the show, its on there along with Star vs the forces of evil, and Gravity Falls. Duck Tales and Amphibia are good ones too. There are a lot of mentions of gore and death in this fic, I was watching the Harley Quinn cartoon on DC universe too, which is also great, and she reminds me of a slightly more sane Deadpool. Dont ask me my logic. Its now 1a.m.. 
> 
> So, enjoy the fic. Let me know what you think in the comments. Im gonna get some sleep.

**Chapter 1**

  
  


You would think that having a date the day before school starts would be a dream come true. Even more so when the whole weekend was clear from giant robots, magical explosions, mutant creatures, or even a cat stuck in a tree. In fact, the whole summer was more or less quiet.

But here I am, Randy Cunningham, also known as The Ninja! And I was SUPPOSE to have a date with Theresa Fowler, who asked if I wanted to take her out the week before. I, of course, said yes! Walking to a nice restaurant that was by the arcade downtown, I had on my cleanest dress shirt, my most sickest of kicks, and my nicest fitting skinny jeans that show off my glutes in the most flattering way! I was looking fly, if you can imagine.

So imagine my surprise when I get a call from Teresa freaking out about monkies in front of the restaurant wrecking the street!

" _A phone call… IS HERE!_ "

* _BEEP_ * Hey Fowler! I'm just down the street, I'm not late am-"

"Randyrandyrandy! Some robot monkies are tearing up the street! _AHH!"_ There's a crashing sound and the lone goes dead.

"Theresa? Thresa!?" I put my phone in my pocket and get ready to run. But then " _A phone call… IS HERE!"_

* _BEEP_ * "Cunningham! McFists monkies are tearing up the street in front of the arcade!"

"Yeah, I know Howard I'm literally already on my way! Just find me a place to change and I'll take care of it. Do me a favor and find Theresa."

"Theresa? Theresa Fowler? Why do you want me to find her? AGH!!" There was a sound of metal grinding on metal and a crunch of concrete. I started to run again.

"Howard? Talk to me Weinerman! You good?"

"Yeah. Yeah, I'm good! One of the monkies threw a moped at the wall of the drug store I was ducking in. Wait, I think I see Theresa. Yeah, there she is! She's behind a car in front of that fancy food place. _El Valentino_ or something like that."

"Oh thank god!" I all but passed out hearing those words. "Thank the Namicon she's ok!"

"Why do you care so much?" He asked me in exasperation. Exasperation. Glad to see 9th grade english hasn't bleed out of me this summer.

"Because i have a date with her! Now make sure none of McFists toys touch a single hair on them. I'll be there in a second."

"Wait, _DATE_!!?"

But I hung up the phone and dropped it into my pants pocket. Rounding a corner I see Howard looking at his phone in disbelief. I'm gonna be getting an ear full from him later. He then puts his phone in his pocket and heaves a piece of concrete the size of a basketball over his head.

He yells out, "Hey! You buckets of bolts wanna pick on someone your own size!?" He then chucks it at the nearest bot and caves it's skull in. The rest turn to look at him. Then down to their fallen comrade and back to Howard. At once all of their eyes and other various parts that have green light turned blood red.

"Um."

Then a bot that looks like a frilled lizard on two legs drops down from somewhere in the sky and crashes in the middle of the street, creating two craters where its feet lands.

"Get the fat one!" It yells in a raspy voice, pointing a talon like finger at Howard.

"Oh cheese!" Howard curses and then takes off down the street as fast as his admittedly fat and stubby legs can take him. "Where are you Ninja!" He screams as the McFist bots chase after him, and gaining fast.

"I'm right here Howard!" I say out loud and turn back around the corner. Ducking into a nook where a door leads into an office building, I quickly look around to see if there's any curious bystanders or any security cameras. Finding nothing I shove my hand into my back pocket and pull out the Ninja mask. Slipping it on my face a red glow surrounds my body, red circular seals form in the air as I'm lifted into the air and black ribbons shoot out from the seams in the mask, wrapping my whole body in lightweight magic fabric that forms the Ninja suit.

Once done, the red glow fades and I drop to the ground. At this point I can feel the power of the Ninja flowing through me. I am Randy Cunningham. And I am The Ninja.

"Smoke bomb!" I say and toss a red ball at my feet, instantly a cloud of red smoke that smells like farts bursts around me, and I'm gone from my hiding place.

**3rd person PoV**

The giant Lizard Bot stomped its way down the street, it's footsteps landed near a place where a one Theresa Fowler was hiding. The ground shook hard enough to toss both Teresa and the car she was hiding behind a foot into the air. She landed with an "Oof!" And fell out from the hiding spot.

The Lizard Bot turned to look at her. It was standing as tall as a 2 story building, glowing red angular eyes, talon like claws on both its hands and feet, a snout as long as a school bus, with what looks like rockets at the end of its frills on its neck. It eyes Teresa and roared, shattering a few windows nearby. 

The tires on the car she was hiding behind popped, the sound and air hissing out snapped her out of her stupor. She screamed.

What else would a normal person to do when facing potential death in the face? Sure Theresa saw some messed up stuff last year when hanging out with her friend Debbie Kang and the shoobiest idiots of Norisville High, last Halloween still gives her nightmares to this day, but a giant armed Lizard wreaking havoc, on the day she was suppose to go one a date with one of the Shoobs no less, is enough to make anyone scream and wet their pants.

She didn't wet her pants, by the way. She would rather die first before ruining the outfit she spent the past week and a half getting ready for. She asked Randy out on a date last week, after spending four hours of psyching herself up and staking out the arcade for 3 days straight before he eventually came in with his friend, Howard Weinerman, in tow.

As it turns out, asking someone out, the act itself, isn't all that bad. You'll do more damage second guessing yourself and worrying over nothing would give any person heart palpitations. In fact, after he squeaked out a "Um, yes." Teresa said "Cool," and set up a date for the very next week, today, to have the date. Then she proceeded to take a very, _very_ big sigh of relief once she left the arcade. 

And now here she was currently. In her most flattering skirt, form fitting blouse, that outlines her bust, brand new white go-go boots that come up to her mid shin, hair done up in its usual style with a small ponytail. She wanted to make a good impression. And now she was gonna die.

But then; "Smoke bomb!" 

A puff of smoke and The Ninja appeared.

"Don't worry citizen, I'll take care of this ugly!"

"Ninja! Oh thank god, you're here!"

"Yes, I am. Now stand back while I-"

The Lizard roared and let out a stream of fire from its mouth.

"Ninja flip!" The Ninja shouted. He back flipped off the car as the fire hit the car, shattering the windows and melting the paint off of it. "Ninja grab!" He scooped up Theresa in his arms, and jumped up again and threw his scarf while shouting "Ninja grab!" The scarf wrapped around a lamp post. He yanked hard and the spring yanked them forward as just before the stream of fire moved to where the couple was just a split second before.

Using the momentum of the yank The Ninja swung around the lamp post into an alley between the restaurant and a bookstore.

"Ok, here you go," The Ninja said, depositing Theresa next to a dumpster. "Listen, this alley goes to the next street over, so if you-"

"No, wait! I was waiting for my date!"

"Is he here? Or, her? I don't, you know, judge or anything. I'm just trying to see who-"

"It's a boy!" She said cutting him off. "I'm waiting for a boy named Randy. It's our first date and I wanted it to be special."

"Aww. That is sweet, but I'm sure that I-uh, I mean he, would be very flattered that you would worry about him but I'm sure he wouldn't want you to be-" there was a smashing sound and then an explosion. "That. This Randy person probably wants you to be a grease stain on the wall due to explosion!"

"Well, I guess it would be worse than standing him up." There was another explosion at the other end of the alley.

"Ok, this is getting ridiculous. Just wait behind this dumpster and I'm sure he'll come once I take care of lizard brain."

"I heard that Ninja!" The Lizard shouted. "Also, I'm just being polite. I'm let you kiss your girlfriend goodbye before I kill you!"

" _She/he's not my boy/girlfriend_ !" The would be couple said. "Although i need to finish this up so I _can_ be!" The Ninja muttered under his breath.

"What was that?" Theresa said.

"Nothing, nothing," he said. "Just wait here. I'll be done soon," he narrowed his eyes and ' _smoke bombed_ ' out of there.

"Hmm," Theresa said while putting a finger on her chin. "I could of sworn he said-" a robo ape jumped down from the building right behind her. "Oh come on!" She yelled out loud as she turned around.

The ape raised a fist and was prepared to make young Theresa Fowler a grease stain on the pavement via robo fist, but then the sound of a sword being drawn and the swish of it being swung through the air.

**Ninja PoV**

After I left my date by a dumpster, wow that makes me sound like a shooby jerkwod, I bust out on the main street and threw some sharp "Ninja rings!" They bounced harmlessly off of its reinforced steel body.

"Ha!" Lizard Boy said. "My body is too hard for your puny rings to penetrate me!" 

"Woah dude," I said. "You probably can't tell, but, I'm a minor under this suite. So, maybe keep the pervy talk to a PG-13?"

"Ha!" He said and slammed its fist down where i was if i hadn't "ninja dodge!" 'ed away to a light pole to its left. "I'm an autonomous robot with no gender and a crap ton of testosterone! And technically I'm younger than you, as I just finished beta testing this morning. Now then, _FIREEEEEEE!!!_ "

Lizard Boy let loose a stream of fire from its mouth. I would say he, but, you know, he said he had no gender, so _it_ it is!

As I leapt from the pole and as I was in the air I pulled out a pair of "Ninja chainsicles!" And pulled out a pair of chain syths.

Quickly I threw out the chains and wrapped it around its arm. Yanking hard I pulled myself towards the Lizard Boy and swung around its arm and landed on its head.

"So wait, you're younger than me but still making pervy jokes in the middle of a fight? How?"

"One word. Can you guess it?"

"Internet. Right?"

"Bingo." It reached up with its unchained arm and tried to hit me. But I jumped up and swung back to the ground. But he ended up scratching deep gashes on top of its head. "Ow! They gave me _pain_ receptors!? Why? Why would they give me pain receptors?"

"Uh, because they're evil?" I said rhetorically.

"Good point. Now then. _GET HIM!!!_ " It pointed at me and I can hear the sound of death by monkies coming for me.

**Down the street**

Howard was running and also running out of steam. Running out fast. Then he got pounced on by a robo ape.

"You ready to get your skull caved in by ' _someone your own size_ '?" How robots understand irony, Howard doesn't know. Mostly because he doesn't understand what the word means either.

"Well, technically you guys got about 2 feet on me. And about a thousand pounds so-"

"It was a rhetorical question," it interrupted.

"And I gave you a rhetorical answer!"

"No. No you didn't. And I'm pretty sure you don't even know what that means."

"Ok, now you're just being redundant."

The robot didn't say anything. Except a strange creeking sound came from it as its thinking processors came to a complete stop. All of a sudden attena sprouted from their heads. All at once they all started to move in the direction they came from.

Slowly Howard got up. "Huh. That was lucky." He sniffed the air. "Awwww! I need to change my pants. Good thing I have emergency undies and pants in my bag… Which i left back at the arcade." Howard looked around. "Eh. Cunningham should have that Lizard mess all cleaned up by then. So, imma take ma sweet sweet time."

He got up and started to do kinda like a crab dance forwards as a squishing sound came from him with every step.

**Back at the alley**

Theresa Fowler was looking in awe at the stranger that just saved her. The, what seems to be, young man in a white hooded trench coat moved a robot torso with no arms or a head attached to it near a corner of a dumpster.

"Duck here. I'm gonna move this robot carcas over you to give you some cover."

"Ok, but, um."

"There's to need to thank me or anything, I'm just doing my job."

"No, I wasn't going to thank you."

"Oh. Well whatever," he sounded a bit disappointed. She couldn't really tell because the hood covered his face and cast it into shadow. Which should be mostly impossible because it was bright and sunny out but a veil of darkness was covering the top half of his face was blacked out. Only his jaw and a bit of his nose was showing. There was a long nose hair peeking out.

"Can you just get into cover. Please? The robots are unusually blood thirsty today. I saw a lady down the street with a moped tire through her skull. Like, all the way through her skull. Like someone melted part of her skull and shoved a tire through it. It was gross."

Theresa almost hurled. "Ugph. Yeah. I'll just get into cover." She moved into the corner by the dumpster and the wall. Just as he was about to lean the robot body over her, she said, "Oh, and mister?"

He paused. "Hmm?"

"Thanks Stranger," Theresa smiled.

The Stranger smiled a genuine smile. "You're welcome. Now, be quiet and hide under this monkey corpse." He laied the destroyed monkey body over her, propped up by the dumpster and wall and started to walk away. 

"Stranger," he mused. "I like it."

Theresa looked around the monkey corpse and saw that the Stranger was gone.

**Ninja PoV**

"Ninja slice, ninja slice, ninja slice!"

Out of nowhere, half an army of robo apes came down the street and started to attack me. And I know it was half an army because Lizard Boy here was saying how only half his army answered his call. Then he set them on me.

So what is a simple Ninja to do, but bust out a couple of dope katanas and go to town making robo ape puré! So as to not die by robot monkey death, I start swinging and cutting off limbs left and right. Meanwhile Robo Lizard starts fixing itself.

"Ow, ow!" It mutteres. "Why would these sadistic butts give me pain receptors, and why would they have me keep them active while i do self repairs!"

"Because they're sadistic butts?" I ask rhetorically. Once again, thank you 9th grade english!

"Those team of people are sadistic as heck."

"Wait, team?" I asked while slicing off an apes head. "Not a duo? Like say, McFist and Viceroy?"

"Those two were there, ow!" He snapped a piece of metal back into place on its head. "But those two man babies only helped design me. No, my true creators were a team of dozens of people. Some very sick people too who allowed me to check out the most darkest, depraved places of the internet when I had just became self aware!"

Blocking a robot arm, stabbing it through the chest while simultaneously sticking the sword in my left hand through the nose area of a second robot who was trying to hit me from behind. "I'm gonna take a wild guess and say the dark web?"

"Worse. Shotacon porn."

Detaching my swords from the now dead robots, jumping off and spinning in a circle cutting two new robots in half at the chest who tried to tag team body slam me in between them. "Oh, that is snazty!"

"I agree. They also forcefully showed me S&M stuff, old people stuff, and the worst of all."

I split another robot down the middle. "Worse than cartoon little boys!? What can be worse than legal paedophilia!?"

He looked at me dead in the eye, and said, "Up beat 90's hip hop targeted at kids!"

I dropped my swords. "Oh my god!" The robot army paused and gasped in horror. I can understand. I still have cringy nightmares of teachers in middle school putting on ancient VHS tapes of how drugs are not cool or ' _hip and happening_ '. I stayed away from them on principle. Also you cant get hard core drugs in Norisville anymore. Not since McFist came out with a cure all drug that cures all addiction. He then proceeded to replace any and all drug addiction with crippling gambling on his various mobile games and a dependency on useless merch readily available and affordable pricing that lead to a dependency on material gain… Wait, is that any better than being addicted to drugs? I should put a pin in this and use it for a paper during the school year.

A robot ape next to me puked up oil and I patted its back in sympathy. "I understand your pain, bro." I really did. 

"Yep," Lizard said. "Now then, RAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!"

It shot out the 6 rockets and they flew everywhere.

"Oh cheese!" I jumped up and dodged a few. One flew past me and exploded another parked car. I jumped on a missile, back flipped off of it into the air, lept onto another one and started to surf it. And let me tell you. Riding on a missile going 300 miles an hour was so bruse! "Whoo whoo!! So honking bruse!!!"

"Was that suppose to be a curse word? If your gonna cuse do it right! Mother fuc-AHH!!" I somehow steered the missile to Lizard Boy's face. It ducked and i manovered it around him, the other 5 missiles following close behind me. Seeing the rest of his half an army starting to group together I narrowed my eyes and moved the missile down towards them. Carnage insued and 4 of the missiles slammed into the ground and one or two monkies and blew them up into pices.

The last missile, the one I was riding, I steered back to Lizard Boy.

"Oh, shit," was its last words before I jumped off the missile and it exploded its head. Pieces of robo brain rained down around me, I turned around to the remaining monkies and said, "So. Who wants to go next?" Turns out none of them, because the 4 or 5 that was still in one piece ran away screaming in their monotone voices. "Yeah, I thought so," I said, 110% done with this day.

"Ninja!" Turning around I see Howard running awkwardly towards me. "Ninja! You got all cleaned up?"

"Uhhh," the body of Lizard Boy fell backwards and crashed, hard, into the street, shattering the asphalt around it. "I wouldn't exactly say 'cleaned' but I took care of the robot!"

"Oh, thank cheese!" Howard said, hunching over, looking like he was about to hurl. "I was not ready to deal with today. Is it me, or did they all seem extra blood thirsty today?"

"Not the only type of thirsty they were, but yeah. Extra blood thirsty."

"Oh, ok. So it wasn't just me then. I guess I shouldn't be as embarrassed that I need to go change my pants."

"Change your pants?" I ask with a raised eyebrow, cocking my head downward a bit. "Why would you need to-" I sniffed, suddenly smelling a musky scent, kinda like asparagus. "Aww! Howard!" I waved a hand in front of my face. "You wet yourself? Really?"

"Hey! I almost got my head crushed by a monkey fist! It's an appropriate response! Besides, I have emergency pants in my backpack at the Game Hole."

"Good. Because I don't want to smell like urine when I go on my date with-" I stop and gasp in realization. "Theresa!"

"Yeah, mind explaining to me how and why you have a date with baton girl, Theresa Fowler? I mean, good on ya man, she's like an 8 out of 10 on the babe meter-"

"I left her alone in a back alley while half a robot army was missing!"

"Oh," Howard said unhelpfully.

"I have to go make sure she's ok!"

Sprinting away, I go to the alley between _El Valentino_ and _Al's Used Books_ "Theres-ahh?" I began to shout but stopped when I saw the carnage in front of me.

Squelching behind me, Howard shows up. Panting a bit he says, "Find her yet?"

"No, not really but I found the rest of the robot army," I said pointing forward in disbelief.

"What do you mean… Oh," the alleyway is littered with the broken and sliced up pieces of metal monkey. Like, everywhere. All sliced up with brownish oil for blood splattered all over. "Did… did _Theresa Fowler do this_?"

"I… don't think so," I replied walking forward.

"How do you know?" He asked following behind me. The stench of urine and motor oil mixing together. Honestly, I think the motor oil smells better.

"Well, unless she was packing a very sharp sword up her skirt-"

"Heh heh," Howard laughed.

"I would think that this would be my handy work."

"Well, it looks like she's not here. So, why don't you call her and I'm gonna go and change my pants."

"Yeah, yeah. Just hang out a second. I'm gonna change back," I say looking around. "Mind checking the front of the alley?"

"Yeah, yeah," he squelches away a few steps. "You're clear. Everyone must have left during the fight."

"Ok." I take off the mask, a red glow appears around me as the suite unravels itself and goes back into the mask.

Then.

"Wait, Randy!" Theresa bursts out from behind a robo torso leaning against the dumpster and a wall. " _Your_ The Ninja!?"

"Oh no," I say, beginning to freak out.

"Cunningham?" Howard says. "You gonna be ok buddy? I mean, we should have checked out the alley better."

"Oh no, ohnoohnoohnoohno!" I am definitely freaking out.

"Now everything last year makes sense! You kept being late and failing at everything because you were, are, The Ninja!" She genuinely looks happy, but i was noticing none of it because i was in full freak out mode!

"Oh no, oh no, oh _NO!!"_

"Yeah, he's not ok," Howard deadpanned.

"Howard, go change your pants and meet us on the roof!"

"What? Why?" He asked genuinely surprised.

"Because you smell like piss!" I said, shoving my face back into the mask and changing back into the Ninja.

"Hey!" But then he sniffed the air. "Yeah, your right. The motor oil is doing nothing to mask the scent of pee. I should _not_ have had that asparagus last night."

"Wait, what are you," I scooped up Theresa in my arms bridal style and threw my scarf at a hanging light on the alley wall. "Um," if she wasn't blushing, I certainly was.

"Heh heh, nice," Howard said.

"Howard just go change your tighty whighties!"

"Hey! You and I both know that I switched to briefs last month!"

"Howard just go!" I yanked hard and sprong upward, my right arm under Theresas' legs, my hand dangerously close to her butt, but I concentrated as I parcoured back and forth between the walls of the book store and the restaurant until I got to the roof of the place where I was suppose to have my first date, well, ever.

Putting her down on her feet, I quickly look around to see if there is any roof people or security cameras around before taking off the mask and changing back onto my regular Randy clothes. Well, today it's date clothes, but you know. No Ninja suite.

"Randy, what's wrong?" 

I hold up my hand, and take a deep breath. "Theresa," I begin. "I am so sorry that our date got ruined. I didn't plan for this to happen, but it happens a lot with me. It comes with the job of being the Ninja. It may look awesome from the outside, and it is sometimes, but it can ruin any relationship that I can have. It almost ruined my friendship with Howard more than once, and I don't want that to happen to us." Her eyes started to get wide as she was getting what I was trying to say. "The Namicon said,"

"Uh, Nomicon?" She said.

"Right, right. The Ninjanomicon. It's kind of like this magical instruction guide for every generation of Ninjas."

"I think the plural for ninja, is ninja."

"We can argue gramaticals later. What I'm trying to say is, the Namicon once told me that I can't have any friends."

"Did it really say that?" She asked, sounding bum.

"Kind of, it actually said ' _Friendship is a weight a Ninja cannot carry._ '"

I looked down, she looked down, we were both down. Taking a breath, I say, "I have to ask you to keep this secret. I may have defeated the sorcerer last school year, but The Ninja will always have enemies. Today proved it. You almost got hurt, or worse. I'm pretty sure i saw a couple of bodies poking out of some rubble, and I'm beginning to think that some of them might be my fault when I was riding some missiles."

"You rode missiles!?" She said looking oddly excited.

"Yeah, it wasn't that cool. I was honestly distracted by how messed up in the head that robot was. His creators made him watch S&M porn when it was just born! I can barely handle normal porn, S&M just freaks me out."

"You watch porn?"

"Not the point Fowler!" I said, heat creeping up to my face. "The point is, it's dangerous to be around me for too long, I have to leave Howard behind all the time to make sure he's out of danger, but he seems to find it mostly on his own anyway."

"You brought him along and caused most of it, didn't you?" She crossed her arms.

"Yes, most of it!" I exclaimed throwing my arms up. She raised an eyebrow at me. "Ok, like, 95% of it." Her look didn't change. "My point is, it's dangerous. And I can't have you in danger because of me like today. So, we should just call it quits now before one of us gets hurt."

Her arms drop, and I look down in shame. Breaking up before the first date. That must be a new record somewhere. Turning around, I say, "Bye Theresa."

But before I could take a single step, she grabbed my hand and said, "No!"

Surprised, I look down and said, "You're holding my hand. With both… of your hands." 

I looked up to her and she looks like she's about to cry. "No," she said again. "I don't care if it's dangerous to be around you, it's dangerous to be around anywhere in this town! Today I was about to be killed in a freak robot attack while i was minding my own business waiting for my date to show up! I've been turned into a monster more times than I can count last year because of stupid reasons, a few of them were your fault, I'm pretty sure."

"Two or three of them, probably," I said, still focusing on how soft her hands are. 

"See! Even when you're not being

The Ninja, you've managed to ruin my day somehow, and I don't even care! Even without you around, I could get into an accident, have an aneurysm, get eaten by a sewer gator, or have a brain aneurysm _while_ getting eaten by an alligator!"

"I'm pretty sure you have a greater chance of getting breast cancer than that happening."

"My _point_ is," she said, yanking me closer to her. "You're no more dangerous than a brain cancer gator accident waiting to happen to me. Danger is a part of life."

"Yes, but-"

She kissed me on the cheek and my brain stopped.

"And I wouldn't have it any other way."

I moved my free hand up to her face and rubbed her cheek. I leaned in and kissed her on her lips. So. Honking. BRUSE!

Pulling back, I look at her and smile. "Me either. But are you sure?"

"Marry Jane knew who Spider-man was, didn't she?"

"Yes, but I think she died a couple of times," I said, nodding matter of factly.

"Well, we're just gonna have to one up her," she said, smirking. "I prefer to only die once when I'm old and in my 90's."

"Same," I said and kissed her again.

This lasted a few seconds before the door to the roof was kicked open and Howard came in. Or out. How does that work on a roof?

"Cunningham, I changed my pants. And you were right! My extra lair of underwear _was_ tighty whities!" He stopped and looked at us, looking at him with mine and Theresas' lips still locked. For a second none of us moved and then he held his hands up in surrender and walked back out the door. 

We looked at each other and started laughing. "This has been a weird day!" She said.

"Yeah," I agreed. "Let's get out of here. We can still eat at my place. My mom can make us some lunch, and she would love to meet you."

"Aww. Taking me to meet your mom already? I must be special."

"Well, you are-"

"Aww."

"But it's also better to get it done now rather than later. That way _you_ can get the third degree too. When she found out I had a date this morning, she nearly crushed me to death in a mama bear hug and wouldn't let me go for an hour until I gave up deets on how our date was gonna go. She even helped me pick out this shit!"

"You do look nice in it," she said, putting her arm around my waist. I nearly fainted, but I did the same.

"You look nice in it too. I mean, in, everything. Everything you wear. All the time. In this outfit especially. Too, I mean. You… you look good today. Nice boots."

She laughed. "Thanks you too. Especially the pants."

This time, we both laughed. I rubbed the back of my head. "By the way, how did you manage to kill all of those robots? You don't have a sword up your skirt, do you?"

"Um. No. Where would I even hide it?"

"Well…"

"Don't finish that thought," she said, her eyes narrowing.

"What thought? I don't have any thoughts, what you talking about?"

She rolled her eyes, but smiled. "But, no. I don't have a sword or anything." We came out of the building, the restaurant was ruined, probably gonna be closed until they can fix the mess I helped make and probably ahbe to hire new staff for any one who was injured or killed as collateral damage. My enemies are getting more and more messed up as time goes on.

Howard was waiting for us, awkwardly looking anywhere else but us as we walked by. He looked at me, and I gave him a smirk and a thumbs up with my free hand. He smirked back and gave me a fist bump.

I looked back to Theresa who was staring at us with a raised eyebrow. I smiled awkwardly in a 'what can you do' fashion and she just shook her head and rolled her eyes. But smiled. We're all gonna be just fine.

"So how did those robots end up all sliced up anyway?" I asked.

"Oh. Some guy around our age showed up and saved me from being mauled to death by robot monkies…. Huh. I never thought I'd say that particular sentence in my life."

"Wait, our age? Who was he? Anyone at our school?"

"I don't know," she said.

"You don't know?" Howard repeated. "How could you not know?"

"He was wearing a hood that covered his face. And I didn't recognise his voice either. He was a total Stranger."

"Stranger?" I asked.

"I don't know what else to call him. And when I said Stranger to him, he said he liked the name. So I guess we just call him Stranger for now."

"Eh, I could have come up with a different name," Howard said, walking ahead a bit.

"Hmm," I say out loud. "Stranger… interesting. This year is gonna be even more dangerous, isn't it?" Nobody gave an answer, but we all started to walk a bit slower. No one was smiling anymore. "I thought so," and kept on walking. I looked from Howard, and then back to Theresa. She smiled, and I smiled.

**Down the street**

A kid about 15 or 16 was standing on the street corner. The sound of fire trucks and police sirens getting closer by the minute.

He was holding a folded white jacket, or a coat under one arm, a sword in its scabbard was tied in his belt loop.

"Hmm," he said, and walked down the street opposite the direction that Randy and his friends went.


End file.
